Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Journal finds

I found this on my phone the other day as I sat and breastfed my little bear. I remember vaguely when I wrote it that I wanted to spend the day being thankful and full of gratitude and when I read it again now my smile was wide and my heart grew happy. And so it goes...

I love Rasmus because he is wise and honest. He knows things about the world that most people will never know. He is pure and he knows who he is to the deepest level. And yet underneath the burden of knowing the truth of the universe he is young and childish. He plays and lives as a child does, in the moment. Unlike me he sees time enjoyed as time well spent, even if it means spending the day in bed. I like to cross things off a list, and only then I am satisfied with my day. I have many things to learn from him but I think I can teach him too.

I love August because he is my exceptional baby boy. His smile is indescribable and warms me to the core. I could live off his smile. He loves church bells and dancing and he loves me unconditionally. I am beyond thankful for that. He has my temper and stubbornness and can't fall asleep without being wrapped in my arms. He has his father's rough playfulness. He is an experimenter but he is careful too and he is mine, for now.

I love my swollen belly because inside lies my unborn baby. I know nothing of this baby aside from movements and a strong heart beat. I am already in love and to be there at the beginning of a new life is inspiring and scary. Responsibility weighs heavy on me but it makes me better, it makes me think. I want to be happy and honest and inspiring to my children. I want them to feel loved and protected and yet free to live their own lives, to choose their own path.


Document your thoughts, they will come back to heal you, warm you and remind you of a time in life that was more beautiful than you understood.    

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